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8/8/8

in honor 08/08/08, i give you the 8 principles of fun:

www.eightprinciples.com/

marriage and such

i'm an official ordained minister and can now legally officiate marriages in califorina.

big ups to me!

sincerely,

Reverend Roxanne

WWCBD?

so....i'm a christian bale fan. and if you don't know that by now, well then, you're dumb.

anyway, i've seen every single movie of his (including the obsure british imports from the 80s and early 90s), except for one....

HARSH TIMES.

why have i been dreading this film? maybe because i've heard it's the worst movie in the entire world.

or maybe it's because christian just can't pull off the whole cholo "ese" vibe. i don't know. it just gives me the creeps. even though rico from six feet under is in it too, i just haven't been able to gather up the courage to watch it.

so last night i saw that it was coming on showtimes so i decided to tivo it. yeah, and um, i couldn't get past the first 5 minutes. and now it's sitting there on the playlist just looking at me. waiting for me to press the play button. ain't gonna happen any time soon, son.

well, anyway, the past few days i've been in a funk. okay, let's face it...it's been about 2 weeks now. i just can't shake it off.

so today, after a long day of school and work, i schlepped on over to vons to grab a quick dinner and look in the hallmark section for a birthday card for a friend.

i found this:

haha yes. that's christian bale's voice saying, "well, a guy who dressed up like a bat clearly has issues." and it's in a greeting card. awesome. totally made me smile.

then, after school, after work, and after vons, i was really feeling down and lonely when i realized i had nothing clean to wear tomorrow. and since the washing machine is on the fritz, i dragged my sad body and piles of dirty clothes over to the laundromat and sweated up a storm in the hot and humid building, doing my miserable homework, while a clint eastwood movie played in the background.

when i was finally done with my washing and folding, i grabbed all my stuff and as i started walking toward the exit, i looked up and saw this:


yeah, that's the harsh times movie poster staring back at me. um, the only movie poster in the entire laundromat. LaundryWorld wins at life, for sure. someone's trying really hard to get me out of my funk!

made my entire week.

hahah dina lohan sucks.

i love anderson cooper. he just wins at life.

if the judge is rockin', do not come a knockin'

during today's taping of judge judy...

shake it, uh, baby!

Thanks to some friends who have joined the world of Blogger, I have decided to put The Jerk Store back into business. I know I'm not as faithful as I'd like to be, and well, sure, I have other little blogs running around the Interweb, but I've kinda always had a little soft spot for "TJS" merely on the fact that I am in love with its polka dot background image.

There are some changes since we last spoke, but nothing too earth shattering. Wait. Did I say earth shattering?

Funny, because we just had a 5.4 earthquake about 2 hours ago. I was at school when it happend (yeah, we'll get to that later) and it was pretty much pandemonium around campus. I mean, it was a pretty big earthquake, but it wasn't that big. We've all experienced worst. Does the Northridge quake ring a bell, anybody? That earthquake traumatized the second half of my sophomore year in high school.

Well, anyway, I was on the third floor of Salazar Hall and I was walking out of the building onto the balcony to get to the stairwell. And that's when I heard the loud rumbling. The building actually was moving pretty violently. The girl in front of me slid to her knees because she was so scared. I just held on to the rail and rode it out like it was 1994. Then we all ran down the stairwell and moved to the quad. I saw hundreds of people bust out their cell phones, but we had no cell reception. Then there was a huge announcement that nobody was allowed to leave and could we all turn our cell phones off because nobody was able to get through. That's when we felt the aftershock and this guy that's in my Micro Economics class grabbed my arm and pulled me to the center of the quad. Um, apparently I had been standing next to the new Crime Lab that had about a thousand and one windows. I had no idea I was that close to all that glass.

After about 20 minutes being stuck in the middle of the campus, with the hot sun glaring down all our faces, we finally were allowed to go back to class. So I decided to go to my next class, even though a lot of people were leaving, but what else did I have to do? Absolutely, nothing at all. So I sat in my desk, but then we all got the good news: CLASS WAS CANCELED!! Hi-HO!!!

Sooooo, um, yeah. I'm back in school. Rodney Dangerfield style. Do any of you remember that movie? That used to be one of my favorite movies as a kid. I used to make my mom rent it for me all the time from the Music Plus on Colorado Blvd. next to Foxy's. (the place is now a shoe store.)


But anyway, I digress. I guess that I've actually decided to do something kind of important with my life and well, I've gone back to school to get a Business degree. Why would I do such a thing, you may ask? Hmm...let's see. Well, deep down, I've always known that I needed to learn some other trade that doesn't involve being a professional voyeur. Although, I do really miss working in television... And I'm not saying that I will never go back to that, but I think this might lead to a path that will hopefully lead to some sort of happiness.

And let's face it, my two ultimate goals in life are 1.) starting a cupcake business and 2.) opening up a non-profit animal rescue ranch somewhere near the beach. That sounds possible, right? And what does a Business degree have to do with any of that? Not too sure, but I know that where I was going was in the absolute opposite direction.

Here's to new beginnings!! And now, a clip that 100% demonstrates my life right now:

did life get any better? not really.

hello? is this thing on?

sometimes i forget that i have this really cute blog out there in the world. sometimes i forget that there was a time in my life when i actually wrote meaningful things....and then decided to delete them all because i was/is/will be in denial. thanks for letting me delete my memories, blogger. wow, the internet really can do everything.

the new year

it's official. 2007 is already in its first round of kicking...my...ass.

wtf? i thought this was going to be the year where i stopped hating myself and started "getting real." the real world: eagle rock.

i don't think my self hatred will ever stop. i feel that for the rest of my life, i'm going to continue to stay awake until the wee hours of the morning, burning countless calories from tossing and turning, while i stare into space, going over every single thing i have managed to fail at.

depression is a funny thing. no, really. it has quite the sense of humor. it allows me to go out into the world with the utmost panic anyone can ever really experience and then tragically, helps me make an utter fool of myself.

so, like tonight, i have to plans to go to dinner. meaning, i get to drive to effin' hollywood, look for parking, then eventually sit at a table and pretend like i'm the happiest girl alive while we share stories about "boys" and assholes in the industry. then, i get to smile and pretend like it's funny, pretend like i'm interested, while really, i'm totally miserable and just counting down the minutes until i get to go home and watch the duel marathon that has been tivoing all day for me. what a life. i'm too old for this.

is it true that everything magically changes when you turn 30? i've got two more years...and man, i can hardly wait.